#1 Stalker: North American Poker Chamionship 2008

http://www.thepokerbay.org/details.php?id=2438

You can download the final table of this tournament at the above link.

So here we go, a little analysis of everyone's favorite donkey - Jonathan Little. The show begins with the biggest dufus photo of all time. The moron is trying to look mean...and fails. This dude would wet his pants if Mimi Tran said BOO to him. So this dude starts the final table as chip leader (I wonder how he got those chips...can anyone say "multiple 3 outers"?). You might have thought he'd have learnt his lesson and not wear gay sunglasses again...oh well.

Mike Sexton: "It seems like a frat party game to me, but there's one big difference...Jon Little failed college and was too geeky to join a fraternity."

So the first hand donkey is in and calls a raise out of position dominated with J10 v K10. Great start. Now a good player like Ivey would bet the flop representing an ace, or at least to see where he his. Not dufus, he checks it to the river like a girl and loses a ton on the end.

He folds and folds away and waits for the first two players to be knocked out to ladder up cheaply. This was the smartest move he made all day. Now he starts to play and picks K6 to raise from the steal position against one of the most successful players ever. Wrong move buddy. You lose. Barry makes the easy read and shoves and donkey hollywoods for a while and folds. Lesson learnt.

Next he min-raises with AQ and folds to Scott Clements re-raise with K5...lol. Nice move bozo. A push wins the pot right there. Even the amateur knew Scott was full of it. You know when an amatuer makes reads you can't, you're in trouble.

Donkey folds some more and then decides to "defend" his big blind against Barry's AK with J9 offsuit. Another great spot (not). At this point you just know he's steaming a bit and will be aggro if he hits any of the flop...regardless of what Barry has. Pussy call on the flop. And hey presto he gets aggro with a straight draw (he can't possibly think his 9 is good given Barry's play and 2 overcards, and the fact that Barry has been showing down the nuts pretty much every hand he played). Luckily for him Barry got unlucky and didn't hit anything otherwise donkey was out right there. Vince van Patten continues his abuse of dufus by calling him "Little Jon" lol...classic.

Cut to interview. Could this dude be any gayer? He REALLY doesn't come across on camera very well, which is probably why he says nothing at the table. He's trying to hint that he's in the same league as the great players who have earned their wins. Get real buddy.

Next hand, Little Jon calls more raises preflop with 7 high. Nuff said. He folded on the flop.

Vince van Patten with another classic shot at the donkey: "He leaves it up to his little family with big dreams (cut to retard family who are too dumb to understand what's going on, so have Tom Dwan explaining to them what a pair is and covering up how bad their dufus son is playing), hoping that their little son will take home a little bit of money, though under very little pressure"

Mike Sexton: "Oh Vinny, that is BAD!" (i.e. I agree with you, he's a small time player who gets lucky, but I'm a nice guy so don't want to be-LITTLE him on TV)

Barry Greenstein, who had read donkey SO WELL all tournament is a victim of a Jon Little special (although donkey didn't do the deed himself - he was scared shit-less of Barry) and get's 3 outered after all the money went in preflop. Donkey must be happy about that.

Next hand Scott Clements limps in the small blind with a suited ace and dufus abliges by raising with king high. Another great spot... Dufus completely misses and Scott is licking his lips. Now, how to extract money from this loser...let him hang himself. Donkey catches a 9 and goes ahead but is too scared to bet. A ridiculous 9 on the river seals the post for dufus. This is the ONLY card in the deck that he could catch to make him bet out (he would shit himself if the 9 was a heart putting 3 heart on the board). He gets excitied and bets a stupid high amount but gets paid off. This is a great example of how this idiot has any chance of winning chips. The look from Scott was priceless...."YOU LUCKY FRIGGIN DONKEY". He actually said "Nice hand Jon" in a very sarcastic manner.

Hehe, I loved this next hand. A8 suited raise on the button, fine. But the raise is tiny so gets a call in the big blind with J8 from an obviously tilting Scott Clements (he's just got extremely unlucky in the previous two hands). Flop jack high. Scott leads out as he should, Jon calls with 3 outs (great spot...). Scott bets again, bigger this time. Easy fold right? WHOA...DONKEY WENT ALL IN!!! AGAINST A TILTING PLAYER WITH TOP PAIR!!!??? Quick call, nice 1.4m loss Jon, that's over half your chips. He looks like he just crapped himself, probably has...twice.

Next hand dufus goes crazy again with AJ. Gets called...is behind...again. Does his third crap of the day. Sucks out...again. Even Mike Sexton is calling him lucky now.

Next hand! Donkey decides to raise from the button with 86 offsuit. Gets called by Scott in the big blind (trapping), dominated yet again by A8. Great spot... OMFG a six on the flop! Have to bet this, right? You were the preflop raiser against one player and managed to hit a pair with your rags. Check check. Scott bets the turn like a true pro, putting the pressure on. Donkey makes a weak call hoping for a non-club 5. Eugh...8 on the river, and doesnt value raise coz he just pooped his pants for the 4th time over the 4 card straight on the board. Scott turns over the 8 expecting to be ahead and is visibly disgusted to see donkey's rags. Again, the look says it all.

YOU LUCKY FRIGGIN DONKEY!

Next hand it's limped around to Jon who is in the big blind with 54...and flops the straight. Bet, call. OK, now there's TWO flush draws on the board, time for a big bet right? Uhhh, no. Donkey is so blinded by his hand he thinks he is invinsible...he doesn't even bet the pot. Huge mistake. Scott makes the obvious call and catches the flush on the river. Does he slow play it like the donkey did? NO WAY. He's too good a player and pushes all in INSTANTLY, and gets one of the worst calls of the day from dufus with like the 15th nuts.

Jon Little: (smiles) "I got the straight!"

You lose...1.8 million. Again in the big pots donkey pays off.

Dufus blinds off another half a million hoping (praying!) someone else gets knocked out because he knows he can't do it himself. Raise with Q10...call. Still no continuation bet to see where you are with second pair (horrible). Gets lucky when the other guy also hits a pair and gets paid off and wins the small pot.

Donkey then basically coinflips for all his chips, wins, and it goes heads up.

Jon Little: "I figured it would come down to us." (obnoxious arrogant, just shut up)

Scott Clements: "There were times when I didn't." (classy response)

Jon Little: (dufus grin) "Me neither." (ummm, what?)

Scott Clements: (you're an idiot)

Cut to interview with Scott (reading between the lines here because Scott is too much of a gentleman to say out loud what he really feels).

Layla Kayleigh: "So what's your strategy heads up?"

Scott: "Not to lose to 3 outers with all the chips in preflop, I've heard Jon is renound for doing that at WPT events. I'm pretty confident going into heads up because this guy is terrible"

Layla Kayleigh: "What are his strengths and weaknesses compared to yours?"

Scott: "Well he's a better preflop player because he'll ship it in with anything hoping to get lucky. I'm certainly not calling off all my chips with A2. I'll outplay him post flop because I play real poker and am 100x better than this moron."

Remember, Scott said he wanted to play post flop (which Vince feels he needs to re-iterate because it's obviously true) because that's certainly where his advantage is. And boy did it show!

First hand dufus outdraws Scott woth 76 on an 886 board. Time to bet right? It's heads up, pairs are rare. NOPE! Actually dufus is playing so weak that Scott makes the continuation bet. Time to check-raise, right? NOPE! Vince called out the play, basically begging Jon to do something right today and both Mike and Vince are flabbergasted when he just smooth calls.

Vince: "Interesting..." (you moron)

OK, now a 5 on the turn. Second pair and an open-ended straight draw on a flush draw board. Have to bet now, right? NOPE! Scott knows better than to bet again. He's read this loser like a book. He's looking for a king or a 10 and value bet his ass off. Bingo, 10! Does Scott check the best hand? Like hell he does, BET! And Jon makes the awful call.

Vince: "It's a complete debacle. Played too passively." (you moron)

Mike goes on the rampage, you can tell he can't believe how dufus can get heads up in a WPT event, let alone going for his second. Next hand, K4...raise. Fine, but nothing's going to get folded with such a small raise. The rest of the hand was just a beauty to behold and a great example of how to outplay a fish. Scott has trip 5s, Jon hits a 4 on the turn and goes crazy. Great spot...! Jon bets, gets min-raised (I wonder what Scott has...), Jon goes all in, gets called.

YOU LOSE